Never To Be Spoken Of Again
by Calico Yorki
Summary: ...Until now. A while before Mia and Elk met Kite, they ran through a particularly glitchy dungeon. Or at least, that dungeon had better have been suffering one mother of a programming error. Rated M for an outstanding avatar customization override. PROGRESS: First Part up.
1. First Part

My name is Elk. I'm a Wavemaster of The World; not a fantastic player, but I like to think I've got a fair bit of skill. But I would never take any challenge, descend into any dungeon, without my best friend Mia. She's a feline Blademaster, though I have yet to figure out how she managed to edit her character like that.

I don't care about that, though - Mia is the nicest player I've ever known, and it doesn't matter to me how she got her character to look like she does. I will say, however, that I've gotten an uncomfortably close look at her before, and vice versa. Mia has finally said that it's okay to share this story to a handful of people I trust, so I'll divulge the secret we've held. You just have to promise that what I tell you will never leave this chatroom. Okay? Okay.

The entire disaster started when we heard about a mysterious dungeon that only opened at midnight, and for only two minutes before it closed again. No one had managed to get there in time to see what the dungeon had in store, and most were quite frankly intimidated by the possible enemies and bosses inside. I counted myself among their number, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I was terrified all the way there. "Just relax, Elk," she tried to soothe me. "It'll be fine." In front of the chosen point, we waited. Not a single other player was around - This dungeon was only available for our server, and no one had the fortitude to stay up for it, apparently. With a jolt, I saw that the gate opened. Mia and i plunged through together. There was a bright light, and my visual display went berserk.

When the lights stopped flashing in my eyes, I carefully opened them to look through my first-person perspective. "Mia?" No response. "Mia? Where are you?" I was getting worried. Something was very wrong about this dungeon, if I could just place my finger on it. There were spiralled crimson pillars rising up all over from the fuschia-tiled floor, and crackles of pink light were constantly shooting through the lofty shadows near the ceiling. Just as I was about to panic, I heard a gasp. "Mia! Thank goodness!" I turned to look.

"No, Elk, don't look!" It was too late. I just stared blankly, shocked by what I saw. There was Mia, purple and white fur normal, startled golden eyes blinking rapidly, ears laid back flat...And she was absolutely clad in nothing at all. Her ample bust was completely uncovered and plain to see, while there wasn't a scrap of clothing or armor to be seen. With a sinking kind of feeling in my stomach, I switched to third-person view. What I didn't need to get a look at was a practical close-up on my avatar's pasty backside. Switching back to first-person, I was desperately grateful that everyone else in the house was asleep on this night of a school vacation. Otherwise, some very strange explanations might be in order.

Mia awkwardly tried to cover herself. I had no idea what command to input, which made it all the more embarrassing. "Elk," she said, "I know you don't have a way to cover your character up, so can you just, just turn around? Please?" I gladly did so. Still embarrassed, I cautiously switched over to third-person again. Oh God my character's - Uuugh. Half-mast. I really, really wished Mia hadn't had to see that. But now, as I tried to get a less uncomfortable view, I found myself with a view of Mia over my character's shoulder.

It was kind of unsettling. She had slowly uncovered herself, much to my distress; now, I could plainly see where her eyes were trained. Apparently she liked that view of my avatar's amazingly pale - So much so as to almost be luminescent - Rear. I couldn't fathom what would be so enticing about the ghostly white buttocks that almost filled my screen before, but I knew that we couldn't stay here all night. "Mia," I whispered, "We need to get through this dungeon. I really, really feel uncomfortable." I could see her jump, startled by my speaking. If it weren't Mia, I would consider the way her chest bounced to be a wonderful sight. As it was right now, I really wanted to get through this place.

At last, we were relieved to find that our equipment was still in place, merely glitched and totally transparent. Our weapons appeared in hand easily, which would make it easier to face whatever monsters could lie in wait. Since Mia was a bit higher-levelled at the time and was definitely better at taking hits, she went on ahead.

I followed, trying not to ogle her. This glitch had put a great deal more detail into her rump than had ever been there before, even with it not covered by her armor. Meanwhile, I knew that we both shared the exact same thought, on some fundamental level:

Whoever designed this dungeon was an incredible jackass.


	2. Middle Part 1

As we made our way through the dungeon, we found ourselves encountering mid-level enemies that looked like nothing I'd seen anywhere else in the game. Most of them were supported by stubby tendrils, with wide, glaring eyes. Each one had its own eye color, and that was how we could tell what element of spell was going to be cast. Mia was able to make very short work of them, with a little help from my healing.

It was when we reached the first Boss that we encountered a problem. A big, slippery problem, extending all sorts of long, winding tentacles. We tried to keep our distance at first, but it grabbed Mia and myself right away. I soon was too stunned to switch from third person back to first person, by what I saw. My character was getting tickled and tweaked in ways that I had only heard people talking about in some hentai, and it was quite disturbing to see. But I was shocked leaps and bounds greater by the sight of Mia. My best friend was getting tickled and jiggled and teased and wiggled in every way under the sun - Including many of which should never, ever see the light of day. Were it not for the tendril in her mouth, she would likely be screaming for it to stop.

Thank God I happened to notice our HP gauges. "Nooo." This wasn't happening. "No no no." I hurried up and had my character cast his most powerful spell available, a simply gigantic blast of lightning that caused all of the tentacles to flail and drop our avatars. It was only then that the constant health loss that had been transpiring came to an end. I hurriedly said something to Mia, blood pounding in my ears for various reasons. The pulse was so loud that I couldn't even tell what I had said. It was enough, though - Mia charged headlong in, and began unleashing everything she had on the Boss. It tried to grab at her, but I fired off a lightning spell and that stunned it into releasing her right away. Thankfully, it wasn't a stage Boss - It just eventually dropped dead, limbs flopping weakly.

Quite thoroughly disturbed by what had just transpired, Mia and I were in a rush to make our way out. We had to head up a flight of stairs, however. I tried not to look, and I know I should have told Mia right away, but...Base desires are sometimes a very powerful thing. My eyes were glued to Mia's backside all the way up the stairs, and I was feeling a bit lightheaded by the time we reached the next stage of the dungeon. This one certainly looked as though it was going to be a doozy.

... ... ...

This is Mia. I'm sure Elk has told our story well up to this point, but I felt it was right that I handle the next portion or two. Especially because I was personally on the receiving end of so many incredibly base attacks. The only thing is, I was able to feel every bit of what happened. I don't know whether Elk was in a position to experience what I did, but it will forever haunt my memories. I guess I should begin with the first Boss, to tell my part.

It was the ultimate humiliation. Those tentacles went to places I wasn't even previously aware I had places. They slithered through my fur, teased me, and let's not forget the one that had insisted on lip service. It was the absolute essence of sea brine, and my mouth was completely bone dry by the time Elk had gotten me loose. No shortage of gratitude was felt that he had noticed our health leaching away. I wanted to get a closer look at him, to make sure he had come out of it alright; save for the fact that this was the boy who I cared about like my little brother, and I had gotten a distinct feeling he'd caught me leering at his keister.

Soon enough, though, we were on our way up the stairs. I felt bad for the usual sway I had in my step, mostly because Elk was about half a foot away from getting a facefull of my fuzzy ass and even if he wasn't there personally, he might have his first person display on and this was already enough of a spectacle to pay witness to.

Little did I know that, on the next floor of this perverse, upside-down, hopefully glitched dungeon, there lie in wait a Boss battle that was going to go every which way than right.

Someone was going to pay for this in blood.


	3. Middle Part 2

There are many strange places in the world, but this dungeon was one of the strangest I'd ever seen. To my knowledge, it doesn't correspond to anything in Epitaph of the Twilight. I've asked Wiseman, once we braved the dungeon a second time to find a lack of all the perverse glitches, and he said that it simply did not mesh with the poem's narrative. That made me very, very uneasy.

Our next task was getting past a huge hall of traps. I made sure Elk was ready, and we began trying to pick our way across the floor. From time to time, a beam of light would shine out of the wall at random. We managed to dodge them successfully for a good long while, before I got cocky. And when you get cocky, you make mistakes. Such mistakes include fumbling on your stride and having to right yourself from tripping. I wasn't able to dodge the beam of light and got blinded by the pink glare. I prepared to draw my sword, but was interrupted.

"Heek!" I would normally be thoroughly disgusted with myself, making such an undignified and quite frankly tremulous cry. There'd be plenty of time for that kind of sentiment once my backside stopped smarting from the firm _thwack!_ that had been put across it. I found out from Elk that some kind of ribbon had attacked me, but for the time being, we had to hurry. What followed was only another layer of grotesque mischief inflicted upon us to accompany untold further mischief, prior to this and after we made it through. Both of us got our rumps busted _hard_ on our way through the hall, and when we made it through, we tumbled forward in unison, trying to comfort our stinging posteriors. For a while, neither of us could speak.

At last, Elk managed to wheeze out, "Mia. Mia, I think...I think this isn't the best position for either of us to be in." It took a brief pause for me to realize what he was referring to. My blood turned to ice in my veins. I was right back up on my feet, and I spun around to look for anything behind me for good measure. Still grumbling and rubbing at my sore tookus, I spat back into the hall from whence we came. As a light shone past right in front of me, I near literally flew backwards in my escape. Deciding we'd had more than enough of this place, Elk and I made haste to leave the area.

We didn't encounter anymore enemies as the floor steadily sloped downward. It would seem that this was nearing the next Boss. Oh, _joy_. Because we'd both just gotten such a ripfucking kick out of the first one! Apologies, that wasn't necessary. It's just that I still just look back at the second Boss and wonder what possessed anyone to make that. It was that one that made it absolutely clear to me that we were the targets of a hacker. Particularly, the kind of welcome we got upon our nude entrance clued me in. At the very center of the room was the only decoration - A tall pillar of pulsating magenta stone, engraved with runes and chained down as if to keep it from escaping its pedestal.

**Welcome, Mia the Blademaster and Elk the Wavemaster.** "Nooo." **You make an excellent team, but have you ever wondered how you would battle each other? I have.** "No no no." **Prepare for my next challenge.** Then, the entire room was bathed in light from the pillar. We were both completely illuminated, as the passage behind us was closed off by a barrier. Then, a pair of figures began to approach us out of the searing light. As they crossed each other's paths and came to stand before us, my jaw fell open. This was not happening. Oh Gods this was completely a thing that was happening.

Stood before us, equally nude, were near-exact replicas of ourselves; save for their glowing magenta irises and for a clone of me being stood before Elk, and vice versa. They both had the oddest smiles on their faces, and while I'll forgive Elk for being too terrified to draw his staff, I had no excuse for not drawing my blade. Except for that, even with the difference, I just could not raise my sword to anyone that looked like Elk. This would ultimately cost me. For I could see my clone making the first move - Sashaying her ripoff body towards him. "Oh you bitch," I snarled. She licked her lips, oh Gods that hussy licked her lips at Elk. "Don't you do it _don't you do it!_" Her strong limbs hefted Elk up, and their lips crashed into each other. This impostor was wallpaper.

That is, before I found a pair of arms wrapped around me, and something _extraordinarily_ hard folded up against me. "Nope." The Elk clone purred. "Nope nope nope." He pressed it against me. "Nooope." Then he began to lick at my chest. At first, it was only down in the valley of my breasts; then the little replica began to work his way to the side. This was just so, so, ugh. I would most certainly have to kill this little asshat, once his tongue swirling around my nipple stopped feeling like the most incredible sensation I'd ever experienced. He began to tug his way outward, while his thumb gently pressed against my other nipple. He was starting to swirl that one as well, and I was in an absolute haze. I could feel my stomach getting hot and fluttery in its lowest core, and it began to spread further south. As if picking up on it, the Elk clone began to kiss his way down, down, down to my -

"_Tongue to yourself!_" I drew my sword and beheaded the Elk clone. Instantaneously, he shattered into bright fragments of data and faded away. Still panting heavily, I had to recover from the ache of so much pleaure going unfulfilled. Completely unfair. As I noted that my sword had been sealed from use by killing the clone, I got the distinct feeling that there was an important thing I had yet to do. Then I heard muffled moans and jumped a foot in the air. "You are unbelievable!" I put away my sword and tried to save Elk from myself.

She had his legs wrapped around her midsection, and was passionately making out with him. Gods, I thought I might have to pull her tongue out of his poor avatar's throat. I tried to go for her, but she turned so that Elk's back was to me. I crashed chest-first into his back and fell back onto the floor. I would have to give this copy a special thanks for reminding me of the trials leading up to this battle. I tried to get at her, but she kept turning so that Elk was between us. A crafty one. But then, she made the mistake of reaching down and palming Elk's rump in front of me. I could not stop myself from seeking revenge.

Before I knew what I'd done, I'd leapt on them and tackled them to the ground. For a while, I felt guilty for making Elk the filling in a purple catgirl sandwich, but that was immediately trumped by the way i could see my clone running her tongue all over his neck. Ignoring how my bust was pressed into his avatar's back, I reached around him and began throttling the clone of myself. I shrieked when she hauled off and smacked my stinging ass, but somehow that drove me to close my fingers tighter.

Soon enough, she was hacking and wheezing as I viciously choked her out. "Huh? Huh? You thought that just because you looked like me that I wouldn't choke a bitch?" I knocked her head on the floor. "I want you to tell me you're sorry! Tell me you love Aura and you love everything beautiful and wholesome in The World!" She made a scratchy noise of desperate confirmation. "Really? _I think you like cock more!_" I continued knocking her head on the floor until her pupils turned into a pair of large 'X's. With a last cough, she dissolved into data.

Hurriedly jumping up off of Elk and helping him up, I went about brushing his avatar off. I tried my hardest not to slap him on his member, which was quite difficult due to the glaring fact that the thing was completely and utterly hard as a rock. Once I got myself to stop the compulsory action of trying to always take care of him, I cleared my throat. "Um. Are you alright, Elk?" I waved my hand in front of his avatar's eyes.

After a second, he spoke up. "Um, yes," he said timidly, "I just put a coat over my monitor. That was getting a little too hot to handle." He smiled. "Thank you for saving me, Mia." I just sighed, glad he was okay. "Ugh," Elk intoned. "Would you believe me if I told you I didn't enjoy those sounds one bit?" He shivered a little.

I sighed. "No, I _wouldn't_ believe that. But I enjoyed getting 'attacked' more than I should have, so I think we can both find solace in being guilty together. Let's just get this atrocious place over and done with." I made my way over to the opening to a downward stairway, slouching and lethargic.

That Elk clone had gotten me so close, but I knew it was right that I ended it.

I knew it, but I didn't have to be happy about it.


End file.
